


marvel just can’t handle us

by natsolsen



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Deaf Clint Barton, Dumbasses, F/F, F/M, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), M/M, Trans Sam Wilson, and so are most of them, anyways idk what else to put here so bye, big groupchat, but wanda is more yk???, chaotic - Freeform, everyone is gay., hahahahha i wish my school was like this, i cba to add proper tags soooo, idk if you can tell but wanda is the main ????, im british but writing is as i’m american wtf is that about, just saying, very much so, vision is a creep guys im sorry, wanda is an idiot b i s e x u a l, wanda is depressed :(
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:22:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natsolsen/pseuds/natsolsen
Summary: all the avengers in high school ???? in group chats ???? starting to merge together into one big group ???? wanda maximoff’s group being impulsive as fuk ???? natasha romanoff’s group being ‘narcs’ but not rlly ;) ???? what could go wrongor the one where the avengers are in different groups at school and start to become one big chaotic one
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Carol Danvers, Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter/Pepper Potts, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Scott Lang/Loki, Sharon Carter/Hela (Marvel), Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Wanda Maximoff/Natasha Romanov, more will be added probably
Comments: 53
Kudos: 153





	1. fuck off gothic twat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scarletbitch: its 11:11 bitches make a wish
> 
> trymebeyonce: i wish wanda would start being smart
> 
> ihavealangd: i wish wanda would stop making impulsive decisions
> 
> silverstreak: i wish wanda wasnt a twat
> 
> scarletbitch: w o w

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so i deleted this work but luckily i had it saved on notes as i regretted it as soon as i did it lmaooo
> 
> enjoy :))

**ur a wizard harry**

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

ihavealangd - scott lang

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

11:11 pm

scarletbitch: its 11:11 bitches make a wish

trymebeyonce: i wish wanda would start being smart

ihavealangd: i wish wanda would stop making impulsive decisions

silverstreak: i wish wanda wasnt a twat

scarletbitch: w o w

scarletbitch: i feel the love

trymebeyonce: no thats just ur stupidness

scarletbitch: wow stephen

scarletbitch: what got u feelin salty

trymebeyonce: you being here xx

scarletbitch: damn go get laid

trymebeyonce: i did last night

burninhela: with who ????

trymebeyonce: wandas dad

ihateyou: JBAHGSYGSJKNS

scarletbitch: wow u went there

scarletbitch: pfft

scarletbitch: i wanna get stoned

burninhela: whos supplying ??

scarletbitch: quill

ihateyou: his drugs r shit

scarletbitch: it does the job

ihateyou: sigh

scarletbitch: ugh nvm quill isnt supplying me tmo he ran out

burninhela: fuk that

scarletbitch: im gonna beat him up at break

burninhela: do it

ihavealangd: i dont condone violence but honestly i wanna see u get into trouble

scarletbitch: fuck u 

ihavealangd: fuck me urself coward

scarletbitch: no

**welcome to bible study**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

richbitch - tony stark

10:27 am 

buckethead: oh god

richbitch: wot

buckethead: wanda maximoff just smashed quill into the lockers

nutella: why

buckethead: idk i think she just wanted to

richbitch: welp rip quill

imdeafnotstraight: ikr wanda can probably murder someone

imdeafnotstraight: she is m e n t a l

imdeafnotstraight: but she cool

starspangles: kinda like natasha

nutella: i will stab ur eyes out

starspangles: do it pussy

nutella: i am what i eat :)

starspangles: :$

**ur a wizard harry**

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

ihavealangd - scott lang

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

10:40 am

silverstreak: why is wanda in furys office

burninhela: [quillbecominglockerfood.mp3]

silverstreak: ah

scarletbitch: so ive got detention for 2 weeks

scarletbitch: apparently smashing quill into a locker cause i feel like it is not a valid excuse

trymebeyonce: you'd think that was common knowledge

scarletbitch: no

ihateyou: wanda

ihateyou: bestfrannnn

ihateyou: wandy wan

scarletbitch: what child

ihateyou: can i have a watermelon jolly rancher

scarletbitch: no kill yourself 

ihateyou: uno reverse card

ihateyou: i will come to furys office rn and take my hoodie back

scarletbitch: fuck off gothic twat

ihateyou: read my username

scarletbitch: aw i hate me too

silverstreak: i-

silverstreak: anyway my bf is amazing

scarletbitch: his group is a bunch of narcs, clint is the only one i like

burninhela: not rlly

burninhela: bucky clint and tony arent

scarletbitch: eh

silverstreak: clint said hi sabrina

scarletbitch: hello clitoris 

burinhela: why sabrina ??

silverstreak: he says she reminds him of sabrina the teenage witch

scarletbitch: clint reminds me of a hawk

scarletbitch: but the dumb ones that crash into the glass wall

silverstreak: ty sabrina xx

scarletbitch: taking my brothers phone are we?

silverstreak: yep

scarletbitch: u might as well be added

silverstreak: yey

_scarletbitch_ has added _imdeafnotstraight_ to the chat

imdeafnotstraight: teheh sup fckerz

scarletbitch: ok i regret it get tf out

imdeafnotstraight: no takebacks luv you're stuck w me

burninhela: sup lint

imdeafnotstraight: sup hell

burninhela: i feel like doing an impulsive thing

imdeafnotstraight: do it

scarletbitch: watever ur doing,,im in

silverstreak: ur in furys office ????????????????

scarletbitch: oh well he cant physically restrain me i can get my lawyer on him

silverstreak: you dont have a lawyer

scarletbitch: i can get moms lawyer on him 

silverstreak: moms with bf number 17 god knows where,,,she hasn’t called since she abandoned us luv

scarletbitch: how’d you know then lmaoooo

silverstreak: i have a priv investigator on her xoxo

scarletbitch: ohhhh

scarletbitch: well it doesnt mean i cant use her lawyer

ihavealangd: i wanna join in ur thing

ihateyou: same

trymebeyonce: count me out

scarletbitch: narc

trymebeyonce: bitch

scarletbitch: look i know you have a crush on me but you dont have to be a dick about it xx

trymebeyonce: u make all the guys gay and the women straight

scarletbitch: i am hurted

trymebeyonce: use the right grammar u dumb fuck

scarletbitch: hate you xo

trymebeyonce: hate you more xo

burninhela: everyone meet in the girls bathroom in 5

**welcome to bible study**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

richbitch - tony stark

11:00 am 

nutella: ohmygod

brucellsprout: WAS THAT FIRE CRACKERS LET OFF IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM

imdeafnotstraight: oops

brucellsprout: THAT WAS YOU???

imdeafnotstraight: i may of had some part in it yes

nutella: ugh i hate you

imdeafnotstraight: some cunt set off the fire alarms though and now the whole schools being evacuated to the fields

poptartking: YEAH AND IM FUCKING WET

richbitch: the sprinklers didnt go off- oH

starspangles: thor you dirty bitch

richbitch: w o w bruce u made him wet i didnt know u had it in you

brucellsprout: shut up tiny

poptartking: nO

poptartking: bucky threw water at me when the alarms went off cause he jumped out his fucking skin

nutella: aw you poor baby

nutella: clint who else did it

imdeafnotstraight: im compromised sorry cant say

nutella: clint barton

imdeafnotstraight: ok ok it was maximoffs group minus stephen

nutella: why am i not surprised

imdeafnotstraight: lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bahahah how chaotic (i use that word a l o t)  
> i wish my school and friend groups could be like this :(((
> 
> i hope you enjoyed and remember,  
> drink lots of water, keep your distance, sanitise and wear a mask !!!


	2. xoxo gossip girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richbitch: we should be more like that group
> 
> starspangles: idiots ??
> 
> brucellsprout: crackheads ??
> 
> poptartking: hated by most teachers ??
> 
> richbitch: yes yes and yes
> 
> -
> 
> wanda beats quill up AGAIN (clearly she has issues), nats group are gossipers and like to know everything about everyone and wanda is gay panicking over something ;)

**ur a wizard harry**

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

ihavealangd - scott lang

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

12:16 pm

scarletbitch: ok own the fuk up

burninhela: we know you did it stephen

trymebeyonce: ??

silverstreak: you set off the alarms

trymebeyonce: idk what ur talking about :o

scarletbitch: stephen strange i will expose your deepest darkest secret

trymebeyonce: which one

scarletbitch: the one involving yk who

trymebeyonce: no no please ily wanda pls dont

trymebeyonce: i told you that cause i was sure your small brain capacity couldnt hold it in

scarletbitch: ok guys so

trymebeyonce: nO

scarletbitch: then own up

trymebeyonce: ok ok it was me i apologise i just thought it was funny

trymebeyonce: but i didnt snitch i swear

ihavealangd: who did ??

trymebeyonce: quill

imdeafnotstraight: oh no

silverstreak: it was nice knowing you quill

burninhela: not rlly tho

imdeafnotstraight: um wanda just stormed out the office 

imdeafnotstraight: me and fury are following her

ihateyou: lemme speak at his funeral

imdeafnotstraight: now were all following her

ihavealangd: hOLY SHIT SHE JUST STORMED INTO HILLS CLASS

trymebeyonce: wAIT I WANNA SEE

ihavealangd: ms hill looks like wtf fav student

silverstreak: ikr its weird like she loves wanda somehow ??

ihateyou: u guys gotta record this as thanos came in and isnt letting me leave furys office

imdeafnotstraight: jesus stephen where did u come from ???

trymebeyonce: my mom

ihavealangd: she just walked up to quill and grabbed him by his shirt and socked him dhlsbdhxbwh

imdeafnotstraight: NOW SHE JUST KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS AND I HEARD A CRACK

ihateyou: jesus quill is not having a good day today

imdeafnotstraight: she said and i quote "im surprised i found something there since all the girls that have told me they've had sex with you turned gay so i assumed there was like a one incher"

ihateyou: KSHGYWHGYU WHOS VIDEOING

silverstreak: stephen

imdeafnotstraight: ugh all of us have been sent back to the office including stephen

trymebeyonce: [wandabeatingquillpart2.mp3]

ihateyou: JBHSYGWVWBWHJG YES THATS MA GIRL

scarletbitch: mission accomplished :)

**welcome to bible study**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

richbitch - tony stark

12:30 pm 

imdeafnotstraight: [wandabeatingquillpart2.mp3]

imdeafnotstraight: enjoy xx

nutella: i was there the whole time whbwdxvwq

nutella: it was hot ngl

nutella: AND THE THING SHE SAID ABOUT HIS DICK

richbitch: we should be more like that group

starspangles: idiots ??

brucellsprout: crackheads ??

poptartking: hated by most teachers ??

richbitch: yes yes and yes

nutella: i mean somehow they're the most popular lmao

nutella: and somehow ms hill adores that group ???????

nutella: like she was trying not to laugh at wanda just now and she looked kinda proud

richbitch: ok lets be like them

imdeafnotstraight: yall are weird lmao ive been suggesting this for months

buckethead: yes but no one takes suggestions from u cause ur irrelevant

imdeafnotstraight: youch my feelings

buckethead: xox

imdeafnotstraight: anyway so me pietro loki hela and scott have 2 weeks of detention for walking out the office, encouraging wanda and setting off firecrackers

imdeafnotstraight: tho stephen only has 1 week as he walked out the class he was in and encouraged wanda

imdeafnotstraight: and wanda has 6 weeks, 4 for beating up quill twice and 2 for the fire crackers

nutella: do her parents just let her get away w anything??

imdeafnotstraight: their mom abandoned them when they were 13 and apparently their dad isnt nice to wanda

nutella: them?

imdeafnotstraight: her and pietro are twins

nutella: wait what i thought they were cousins

richbitch: nat ur so dumb

starspangles: so how is wanda gonna avoid her dad? what would he do?

imdeafnotstraight: idk

poptartking: she normally comes and stays with loki and hela

brucellsprout: well she shares a room with loki bc helas pets scare her

nutella: she shares with loki?? are they dating

brucellsprout: no lmao loki is gay and wanda is bi but more into girls

nutella: ah

poptartking: wanda and loki have been bestfriends since she came to this country

richbitch: wanda and pietro arent from here?

poptartking: no they're sokovian

buckethead: oh shit i heard about what happened there

poptartking: yeah the maximoffs were one of the victims

poptartking: when they were 9, their parents were out gettings rations and bombs dropped on the maximoff house and the building collapsed on wanda

nutella: oh my god

imdeafnotstraight: ye piet told me about this

imdeafnotstraight: it took them almost a day to get wanda out and it was a miracle shes alive

richbitch: shit

poptartking: she still gets nightmares though and its been 8 years :(

poptartking: ive been waken up by her screaming and hela n loki tryna wake her up more times than i can count

poptartking: she always feels terrible and she said she wouldnt stay anymore cause its not fair on any of us but i said it was completely fine

nutella: i feel so bad for her

poptartking: same but she doesnt like to talk about it

nutella: then why tell us sknjsg

poptartking: idek why

buckethead: stupid

richbitch: wow we are gossipers sjkwhj

starspangles: xoxo gossip girl

richbitch: stfu u ruined jt

**ur a wizard harry**

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

ihavealangd - scott lang

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

2:02 pm

scarletbitch: fuck me in the ass 

imdeafnotstraight: i- why

scarletbitch: ive been assigned a tutor to help me with work ive missed everytime i missed a class

burninhela: haaa unluckyyyy

burninhela: whos your tutor ??

scarletbitch: natasha romanoff cause like shes the smartest in the class omg

imdeafnotstraight: not tru but ok

scarletbitch: ok to me it seems that she is

trymebeyonce: yeah cause you're like the dumbest person on the planet

scarletbitch: you wound me stephen

ihateyou: oh god this is gonna be funnyyyyy

imdeafnotstraight: why

scarletbitch: loki shut up

ihateyou: wandas been scared of natasha since freshman 

scarletbitch: hav not

ihateyou: hav too

imdeafnotstraight: lmao why

scarletbitch: shes intimidating ?? and shes like rlly rlly pretty and perfect and smart and im just me,, plus im pretty sure she can break my neck with her thighs if she wanted to

scarletbitch: not that i would stop her

imdeafnotstraight: omg nwsbhswbdyg ur such a dumbass sabrina

scarletbitch: ok but tell me everything i said is false i dare you

imdeafnotstraight: to me it sounds like you have a lil crush on ms russian bitch

silverstreak: lil?? nah love its so big

scarletbitch: pietro!!

silverstreak: the amount of times ive encountered drunk wanda crying over natasha not noticing her lmao

imdeafnotstraight: im dead

scarletbitch: i hate you guys

trymebeyonce: not as much as you hate yourself

scarletbitch: you make a good point there wizard of oz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if you can tell but i like to cover my spelling mistakes up and just blame it on that they’re lgbtq+ high schoolers who can’t spell for shit bc most of them are failing classes soooo
> 
> any spelling mistakes, blame it on the kids :)


	3. so you do have a kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scarletbitch: so natasha is tutoring me today
> 
> imdeafnotstraight: lemme guess u don't know what to wear and need help
> 
> scarletbitch: how'd u know
> 
> imdeafnotstraight: wild guess
> 
> -
> 
> so nat and wandas tutoring session is today and wow what are they gonna wear ??????

**welcome to bible study**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

richbitch - tony stark

10:30 am 

nutella: OMHYGSHSWGUYSGSBJH

nutella: IM TUTORING WANDA TODAY HVGHJ

richbitch: omg your first date!!

nutella: wat-

richbitch: im jk

nutella: ok

nutella: WTF DO I WEAR

buckethead: clothes

nutella: buCKYYYYY

nutella: pls help me ur the most stylish out of all of us

richbitch: offended

starspangles: rt

brucellsprout: wow natasha u wound me

poptartking: grrrr

imdeafnotstraight: as your kinda brother i take deep offence

buckethead: shut up guys yk its true :))

nutella: bucky help

buckethead: ok ok just wear black ripped mom jeans, your oversized dark grey metallica shirt and ur mustardy plaid shirt jacket over it and relaxxx

nutella: ok shoes?

buckethead: combats

buckethead: wait no ur checkered sneakers

nutella: the vans ??

buckethead: yeah

buckethead: add sum chains too and straighten ur hair

nutella: ur the best

buckethead: well someone has to be

imdeafnotstraight: i think nat has a crush on lil ms wanda maximoff

nutella: me ?? having a crush ??? pfft no never shes just insanely beautiful and awesome and has the best style in clothes and omfg shes so cute even tho shes dumb and is an idiot but arghhh

starspangles: she has a crush on wanda lmao its so obvious

imdeafnotstraight: so far in the last two days i've learnt so much about two different groups its unreal

brucellsprout: love that

**ur a wizard harry**

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

ihavealangd - scott lang

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

10:32 am

scarletbitch: so natasha is tutoring me today

imdeafnotstraight: lemme guess u don't know what to wear and need help

scarletbitch: how'd u know

imdeafnotstraight: wild guess

imdeafnotstraight: but don't ask me i'm not stylish apparently

scarletbitch: ahahha ok

scarletbitch: so 

burninhela: don't worry ur style icon is here

scarletbitch: ur a goth luv i'm not

burninhela: but still i can help

scarletbitch: sigh ok

scarletbitch: option one is my light blue mom jeans, the belt with the holes in, black crop vest, beige teddy coat w my vans and some gold jewellery 

burninhela: gross

scarletbitch: or

scarletbitch: option two is my dark grey plaid skirt (the flowy short one), oversized off white t shirt with the small black outline of a daisy on my left boob, thigh high half mesh black stockings and combat boots with chains on them

burninhela: yES what jewellery ?????

scarletbitch: my silver necklace with the butterfly on it, alot of bracelets and rings and silver studs in my seconds and thirds, matching silver dangly butterflies in my firsts and a hoop on my cartilage 

scarletbitch: oH and my sandy coloured demin jacket

burninhela: the oversized one?

scarletbitch: duh

burninhela: def option two

scarletbitch: teheh ok

burninhela: girl if i was natasha i would pick u up and take you to my bed

scarletbitch: its only a tutoring session

ihateyou: wands do you want me to come over and do ur makeup

scarletbitch: no im ok i'm lit rally putting mascara, a lil blush, highlight and clear gloss on

scarletbitch: and im straightening my hair

ihateyou: omg u never straighten ur hair

scarletbitch: precisely

scarletbitch: though i am thinking of chopping it all off to shoulder length

scarletbitch: but i also love it at my hips yk?

ihateyou: i think you should do it

scarletbitch: maybe

ihateyou: or get blonde highlights

ihateyou: OR DO BOTH

burninhela: ugh my poor emo wanda is gonna look like a good girl

scarletbitch: well if i'm spending time w natasha i might as well start being ok ig? i want her to like me

trymebeyonce: you guys are acting like this is a date ??? ur literally meeting for coffee to study math

scarletbitch: lmao so? 

trymebeyonce: i mean u do u boo

trymebeyonce: but im sure natasha couldn't care less what u wear

imdeafnotstraight: if you say boo again im gonna kms

trymebeyonce: boo xxx

silverstreak: nO

scarletbitch: and he wakes

ihavealangd: wands send a pic of ur outfit i wanna see

scarletbitch: oki

scarletbitch: [mysickassfit.png]

ihavealangd: u look so prettyyyyy

ihateyou: straighten ur hair more it looks bomb

burninhela: can i fuck u?

scarletbitch: ofc bby

scarletbitch: ok i gotta go i'm meeting natasha at 11:30 and i don't wanna be late

silverstreak: are you walking?

scarletbitch: ye ye

trymebeyonce: hope you get ran over xx

scarletbitch: me too stephen

**tutoring**

nutella - natasha romanoff

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

11:23 am

nutella: i'm here early do you want me to order for you?

scarletbitch: you can if you want but i'm literally almost there

nutella: nah its good what would you like?

scarletbitch: pumpkin cream cold brew pls and a cinnamon bun

nutella: a drink /and/ a bun ?? wow u pushing it a bit there maximoff

scarletbitch: oh i'm sorry i'll just have whatever's cheapest or i'll just order my own

nutella: wan

scarletbitch: yeah?

nutella: i'm only joking with you :) i'll get it for you

scarletbitch: are you sure? cause you really don't have to

nutella: ofc i am,,,i'll even pay

scarletbitch: i can pay you back

nutella: you don't have to

nutella: plus i literally just ordered and paid soooo

scarletbitch: if ur sure

scarletbitch: i'm at the door i can see you,,,wow btw i love your outfit

nutella: i love yours too it suits you

nutella: now off your phone and get over here so we can do work

scarletbitch: okay but wait can we change our chat name as this one sucks balls

nutella: you came up with it

scarletbitch: exactly why we should change it

nutella: um how abouttttt 

_nutella_ has changed the chat name to **and they were roommates**

scarletbitch: MAH GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES

nutella: ok wanda come sit your ass down now so i can teach you shit

scarletbitch: but.. but they were roommates [puppy eye emoji x3]

nutella: wanda

scarletbitch: yes ma'am 

nutella: ksjshh shut up

**applejacks anus**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

buckethead - bucky barnes

birdman - sam wilson

3:09 pm

nutella: im not saying i have a kink

birdman: oh god

nutella: but wanda maximoff could call me ma'am more often if she wanted to

birdman: so you do have a kink

imdeafnotstraight: i take it your date went well

birdman: natasha ?? going on a.... a date ??? ok how much vodka did i drink last night i think im still drunk

nutella: it wasn't a date,,,i was just tutoring her

nutella: and maybe i brought her lunch

nutella: and told her not to pay me back and that she looked pretty when she got self conscious

buckethead: so it was a date but at the same time not a date

nutella: exactly

imdeafnotstraight: that you both were worrying over what to wear for

nutella: yep

birdman: ...date

nutella: wait how did u know she was worrying

imdeafnotstraight: i'm lit rally dating her brother which automatically got me added into their group chat and now i witness all the crazy shit they do and i love being apart of it

buckethead: wow lint how does it feel like to be winning

imdeafnotstraight: it feels gret bucket 

nutella: so ???? she talks about me

imdeafnotstraight: only the once,,,,she just wanted to make a good impression on you

imdeafnotstraight: dont repeat this but hela teased her cause she basically said she wanted to start buckling down so you would like her

imdeafnotstraight: or at least tolerate her

birdman: wanda maximoff is basically scared someone wont like her ???????

birdman: nah man im not buying that

birdman: even though shes the biggest idiot the school has ever had, literally everyone in our year group likes her

imdeafnotstraight: she gets insecure and shit its all apart of the package deal with anxiety and mental illnesses

imdeafnotstraight: which she has quite a few of but anxiety and depression is her biggest ones

imdeafnotstraight: wait i swear we lit rally talked about this the other day in the gc

birdman: im not apart of that gc

buckethead: cause no one likes you

birdman: keep talking asshat 

buckethead: ik u like my ass wilson xx

birdman: all i see is a straight line

buckethead: gasp

nutella: take your flirting to a different chat and shut up

nutella: so wanda thought i wouldnt like her because shes naughty in school ?? she knows thats not true right

nutella: what else did she say?

imdeafnotstraight: i would tell you, you know i would but she told me things in confidence and it would be shitty of me if i told you

imdeafnotstraight: she'll tell you in time

imdeafnotstraight: just if your gonna be friends with her please don't screw with her head if you get what i mean? and just be there for her when she has a rough day cause you will notice she has a lot of them

nutella: i understand completely

nutella: ofc i will

buckethead: has clint barton taken on his bfs twin as a little sister?

imdeafnotstraight: yes i have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this was ok !!!  
> wanda’s style is kinda mine sooo yeh :)
> 
> have a great day/night also ITS STILL SCARLETT AND MARKS BIRTHDAY YEY !!!!!
> 
> ily all sm


	4. make a joke, beat a bloke, smoke some coke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> imdeafnotstraight: everyone knows me
> 
> richbitch: clit do ur introduction
> 
> imdeafnotstraight: no
> 
> scarletbitch: i'll do it for you
> 
> imdeafnotstraight: be my guest
> 
> scarletbitch: yo my dudes i'm clit barfus, i'm big gay for pietro maximoff and his sister wanda is the best! oh and im the biggest dumbass of the century

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloooo i’m so sorry for the [short ish] delay!! i’ve got my mock exams on monday so i’m vv nervous and stressed lmao
> 
> but at least if i fail i can become a stripper xxx
> 
> jk... unless
> 
> OKAY ENJOY!!

**ur a wizard harry**

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

ihavealangd - scott lang

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

3:28 pm

scarletbitch: teheh

silverstreak: how was natasha?

scarletbitch: awesome snjhssgh

scarletbitch: shes so nice and i actually understood the stuff that she taught

trymebeyonce: oh wow that's a first,,,she must of been amazing

trymebeyonce: what did you learn?

scarletbitch: the quadratic formula i think

scarletbitch: it was quite easy once i listened

silverstreak: did you have a good time though

scarletbitch: ye ye

scarletbitch: i got a bit insecure at some point about what i looked like and she said i was pretty omghsgahqkhdg

scarletbitch: she's lit rally the best

imdeafnotstraight: aww

ihateyou: i thought me and hela were the best

scarletbitch: ok all of you are the best including natasha,,,,you're equal

silverstreak: sweeeeet

ihavealangd: did any of you do the science homework that's due in tmo

silverstreak: nop

ihateyou: nada

burninhela: pfft i never do it

imdeafnotstraight: science homework?

trymebeyonce: dw scotty i did it

trymebeyonce: you can all copy it except wanda :))))

scarletbitch: no need stephen

scarletbitch: i already did it

trymebeyonce: w o a h

trymebeyonce: wanda ??? doing homework ???? more likely than you think

scarletbitch: stfu

burninhela: ugh pls don't turn into a narc

scarletbitch: i shall not

scarletbitch: anyways i have an appointment sooo cya

silverstreak: with whoooo

scarletbitch: you'll know who when i get home,,dont tell anyone tho okk?

silverstreak: ofc baby girl

trymebeyonce: that sounds kinky

silverstreak: shut up i have called it her since i can talk

trymebeyonce: sweet home alabama

silverstreak: stephen i will sew your knees to your eyes

trymebeyonce: pls xxx

9:26 am

ihateyou: oh

burninhela: my

ihavealangd: god

ihateyou: YOU DID IT

imdeafnotstraight: WHO DID WHAT ???????

ihateyou: WANDA GOT HER NOSE PIERCED

imdeafnotstraight: OH MY GODN SHJSJGSJBSJHGSYT

ihateyou: that's it i'm now declaring that i am a hetty,,,,,wanda can u pls fuck me ???

trymebeyonce: it looks so good

scarletbitch: tehheh

burninhela: i love it sm

burninhela: but i swear we were gonna get it done together

scarletbitch: no that was tattoo's

silverstreak: you are not getting a tattoo

scarletbitch: at val's party us 6 (and clitoris if he wants to) agreed that we are gonna get matching tattoo's with our motto thoughhhh

silverstreak: i was drunk

scarletbitch: sooo????? hela knows a guy that can do it pls pls pls piet

silverstreak: ugh fine only cause our motto is awesome

imdeafnotstraight: motto ?

trymebeyonce: ye it issss

ihavealangd: 'make a joke,

scarletbitch: beat a bloke,

burninhela: smoke some coke'

imdeafnotstraight: iconic

trymebeyonce: ikr

imdeafnotstraight: i want in immediately

ihateyou: ofc

ihateyou: ur one of us now :)

imdeafnotstraight: yay

ihateyou: anyways thanos is staring at me so i gotta get off my phone and yell at him

imdeafnotstraight: ayy ok

**welcome to bible study**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

richbitch - tony stark

12:28 pm

nutella: wanda got a nose piercing im so gay wtfwhsil

imdeafnotstraight: ye ye and we're all talking about getting tattoos

nutella: you're 17 ????

imdeafnotstraight: hela knows a guy

nutella: ahh

nutella: wanda would look so good with a tattoo

imdeafnotstraight: keep it in your pants

nutella: no

richbitch: whats the tattoo gonna say

imdeafnotstraight: 'make a joke, beat a bloke, smoke some coke'

richbitch: omg i love that

buckethead: what does that mean?

imdeafnotstraight: well its that groups motto thingy and they said bc im dating piet that im one of them so i can get it too

imdeafnotstraight: so if nat ends up dating sabrina then nat can get it too if she wants

starspangles: im guessing sabrina is wanda??

imdeafnotstraight: yep,,,she calls me clitoris and i call her sabrina

nutella: i want a tattoo on my bicep

brucellsprout: it acc sounds kinda cool

starspangles: ye i would like one

poptartking: same

buckethead: i've got one

nutela: what how did i not know this

buckethead: i've got a bucket on my left ass cheek

buckethead: me and sam got drunk and went to the guy hela knows and i made sam get a bird on his left ass cheek too and he made me get a bucket

imdeafnotstraight: [eyes emoji x2]

buckethead: shut up

nutella: ohh so cause i haven't seen ur ass lately i haven't seen it

buckethead: yep

imdeafnotstraight: ugh natasha you made wanda no fun

nutella: how tf have i ????

imdeafnotstraight: idk i just wanna blame someone

imdeafnotstraight: the bitch won't help me break into thanos' drawer to get my cards against humanity

richbitch: you got them taken away cause you were playing with pietro, sharon, peter and mj lmao

nutella: who's peter and mj?

richbitch: my cousin peter parker and his bestfriend mj

starspangles: ohh the really smart one thats a sophomore right??

richbitch: yep

starspangles: cute

imdeafnotstraight: still pissed wanda wont help me

nutella: shame

buckethead: speaking of wanda

buckethead: whens her and her brothers birthday ???

imdeafnotstraight: july 29th

buckethead: thats fucking ages away man

buckethead: lmao wanda was talking to gamora that for their 17th they were gonna invite all the elite people in our year, some seniors and peters group

richbitch: oh ye wanda was talking to me about how she wants their group, our group, carols group, quills group, peters group and peppers group to all start getting along

richbitch: i lwk wanna make a gc

starspangles: tony no

richbitch: tony yes

imdeafnotstraight: ok not yet but i'm giving you permission to make a gc of our group and their group

nutella: haven't you only just joined theirs?

imdeafnotstraight: ye but stephens reading over my shoulder and told me to tell you that you should do it

richbitch: sup stephen

imdeafnotstraight: he says hi anthony

richbitch: wait i have an epic gc name

richbitch: wait is everyone gay in that group ???

imdeafnotstraight: ofc

_richbitch_ has created a chat called **50 shades of gay**

_richbitch_ has added _starspangles, buckethead, nutella, imdeafnotstraight, poptartking, ihateyou, burninhela, brucellsprout, trymebeyonce, scarletbitch, silverstreak, ihavealangd_ and _birdman_

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

1:12 pm

richbitch: hello gays

richbitch: i added sam too cause he was next to me and wanted to be added

scarletbitch: um ??

trymebeyonce: me and lint gave tony permission to merge our groups together

richbitch: INTRODUCTIONS

richbitch: also i totally didn't need permission i was gonna do it anyway

trymebeyonce: sure jan

richbitch: sup i'm tony stark, i'm good at engineering and buying my way out of trouble

ihateyou: we have that in common ;)

richbitch: what ????

scarletbitch: loki buys his way out of trouble allll the time

richbitch: ah

starspangles: hello im steve rogers, i draw?

buckethead: im james barnes but people call me bucky, i have a metal arm and a nice ass xx

birdman: you wish

nutella: i'm natasha romanoff, im a lesbian lmao and i have nothing interesting about me

scarletbitch: not true but okay love

silverstreak: #gay #gay #gay #gay

imdeafnotstraight: everyone knows me

richbitch: clit do ur introduction

imdeafnotstraight: no

scarletbitch: i'll do it for you

imdeafnotstraight: be my guest

scarletbitch: yo my dudes i'm clit barfus, i'm big gay for pietro maximoff and his sister wanda is the best! oh and im the biggest dumbass of the century

imdeafnotstraight: i do not say yo my dudes

nutella: you do

poptartking: hi im thor odinson, i like poptarts and sports

ihateyou: gross a jock

poptartking: gross a snake

ihateyou: xxx

ihateyou: im loki and i kill people for a living and own snakes

scarletbitch: hi they’re loki and they’re actually a big softie and hugs me to sleep when i stay round bc im their bestest friend

ihateyou: only cause you come round mine when you're depressed

silverstreak: she'd be round yours 24/7 then

ihateyou: true true

burninhela: hi im hela and i'm known for throwing a flaming box of books at quill

nutella: that was awesome

burninhela: i know

brucellsprout: im bruce banner and im thor's boyfriend and the twat who has to deal with tony starks impulsive ideas

richbitch: xoxo

trymebeyonce: im stephen strange, yes i have a cool name, i am also the twat who has to deal with my whole groups impulsive decisions but mostly wanda

ihavealangd: you love us really

trymebeyonce: yes but not wanda

scarletbitch: hurt

scarletbitch: i am wanda maximoff, i like art, i also draw and im big mentally unstable

birdman: you forgot the part where everyone either wants to be you or be with you

scarletbitch: i will have you know i am single

birdman: i never said you wasn't darling

imdeafnotstraight: we all know why you're single

scarletbitch: clint.

silverstreak: yep she's saving herself ;)))

scarletbitch: pietro.

richbitch: for whom

scarletbitch: non of ur beeswax

buckethead: loving the mental age of 9 xx

scarletbitch: wys i'm mentally dead xo

silverstreak: im pietro maximoff, i run and i have to put up with wandas and clints bullshit

ihavealangd: im scott lang and i carry an ant farm around with me everywhere i go

starspangles: love that

birdman: im sam wilson and i hate bucky

buckethead: love you too xx

nutella: also tony this gc name is so cliche

scarletbitch: i like it

nutella: ok nvm i like it

imdeafnotstraight: whipped

nutella: shut up

scarletbitch: what does whipped mean?? i've been here for a while but i still don't know english fluently yk?

nutella: dw about it bby <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baaaaa teheh they have /merged/
> 
> might update again so you guys have two chapters to read,,,yeh ima do that
> 
> the next one is actually a new chapter bc i was reposting this and NOW chap5 is new soooo yeh


	5. CHILLIN WITH MEH HOMIES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brucellsprout: dude get wanda to stop fucking screaming before i smash my head into a wall
> 
> nutella: so i'm guessing fluffy got out
> 
> ihateyou: yeah and wanda is stood on top of my set of drawers screaming at the top of her lungs because he's on the floor next to them
> 
> richbitch: /he/ is fluffy right???
> 
> burninhela: yeah and I HAVE NOW GOT AN EARACHE SO PLEASE EITHER KNOCK WANDA OUT OR KILL FLUFFY
> 
> ihateyou: i am NOT killing fluffy
> 
> silverstreak: knocking wanda out is not an option
> 
> or
> 
> wanda accidentally lets fluffy out,,,and her being the stupid bitch she is: she’s scared of him
> 
> and then yk some absolute chaos because this whole story has no plot to it whatsoever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also when you read this, you’ll notice i put 2019, that’s bc i’m planning on making covid a thing :))
> 
> enjoy!!
> 
> OH YEAH trigger warning!!  
> there’s a mention of self harm so you can just not read this chapter if you must, lit rally nothing happens in it tbh

**50 shades of gay**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

4:28 am

poptartking: can't believe you've done this

trymebeyonce: it's literally 4:28 am, it's too early for this shit so you better have a good excuse as to why you are on this gc

poptartking: ask wanda

ihateyou: lmao she's sorry but she couldn't help it

trymebeyonce: ofc it's wandas fault

ihateyou: she didn't /mean/ to smash the cage okay?

nutella: she smashed a cage ????

ihateyou: accidentally

nutella: what was in said cage

poptartking: fluffy

nutella: a kitten ????

ihateyou: a tarantula

nutella: who tf names their tarantula fluffy

ihateyou: me hoe you got a problem

nutella: yes

brucellsprout: dude get wanda to stop fucking screaming before i smash my head into a wall

nutella: so i'm guessing fluffy got out

ihateyou: yeah and wanda is stood on top of my set of drawers screaming at the top of her lungs because he's on the floor next to them

richbitch: /he/ is fluffy right???

burninhela: yeah and I HAVE NOW GOT AN EARACHE SO PLEASE EITHER KNOCK WANDA OUT OR KILL FLUFFY

ihateyou: i am NOT killing fluffy

silverstreak: knocking wanda out is not an option

ihateyou: i've done it before

silverstreak: i-

imdeafnotstraight: guys stfu i'm tryna sleep

burninhela: somebody kill fluffy please or shut wanda up

ihateyou: WHY DO WE HAVE TO SACRIFICE FLUFFYS LIFE !!!?????

burninhela: bc now wanda will probably not go back to sleep or stop screaming if she is in the same house as him

silverstreak: she's such a pussy lmaooooo

imdeafnotstraight: you screamed at a money spider

silverstreak: no<3

imdeafnotstraight: yes<3

nutella: is wanda still screaming

burninhela: yeh and she's crying now too

poptartking: if she doesn't stop i am going to be the one to knock her out

silverstreak: dew it

poptartking: you told loki no ?????

silverstreak: yes but i'm going back to sleep now soooooo

burninhela: BRUCE YOU DUMBASS

nutella: what did bruce do??????????

burninhela: BRUCE JUST THREW A HAIRBRUSH AT WANDAS HEAD AND SHE FELL OFF THE DRAWERS AND CRUSHED FLUFFY

ihateyou: NOOOOOOOOOO FLUFFY

burninhela: now loki just picked wanda up and threw her to the side

birdman: well at least wandas asleep and the spiders dead right ?????

poptartking: loki rlly said 'this bitch empty,,,YEET' to wanda

nutella: LMAOSKWNSNS

nutella: chek if she's good tho

burninhela: she's crying in her sleep l m a o

burninhela: and now loki's having a meltdown because their spider is dead

trymebeyonce: record

burninhela: ofc

burninhela: [lokimeltdown.mp3]

nutella: gud serves them right for throwing wanda

burninhela: i have a video of that too

burninhela: [wandagoesYEET.mp3]

imdeafnotstraight: DUDE SHE GOT THROWN INTO THE WALM LMAOSKAMS

trymebeyonce: good xxx

nutella: ok that has no right to be that funny

nutella: but like is she ok

burninhela: she's alive

nutella: that's not reassuring but okay

trymebeyonce: i want a turn at throwing her

richbitch: ok but like stephen do you even like wanda

trymebeyonce: ofc she's one of my bestfriends and i love her sm

trymebeyonce: just don't tell her that

6:01 am

scarletbitch: woah stephen i am flattered

scarletbitch: ily too bitchbag

nutella: hey how you feeling?

scarletbitch: well i'm alive so clearly i'm not ok

richbitch: oH

scarletbitch: jk (kinda) but yeh my head kinda hurts and i now have a huuuge bruise up my left arm so long sleeve shirts now yey :/ thank you loki you fucking snake

ihateyou: don't fall into a tarantula cage and break it then you fukin retard

scarletbitch: die

ihateyou: no you

scarletbitch: don't you think i haven't already tried

ihavealangd: wanda u already wear long sleeves tops so what else is new

scarletbitch: well that's bcus at shops i don't wanna be accidentally scanned by the card reader xox

silverstreak: but you aren't a shop item

nutella: u m

ihavealangd: give him a sec he'll get it

silverstreak: OH

silverstreak: wanda do you need therapy

scarletbitch: hahahhahahahahaha bold of u to presume that shit worked for me

starspangles: wanda you good?

scarletbitch: no

ihavealangd: n e wayz

ihavealangd: CHICKEN WING CHICKEN WING

imdeafnotstraight: CHICKEN WING CHICKEN WING

ihavealangd: HOT DOG AND BOLOGNE

imdeafnotstraight: HOT DOG ANS BOLOGNE

ihavealangd: CHICKEN AND MACARONI

imdeafnotstraight: CHICKEN AND MACARONI

ihavealangd: CHILLIN WITH MEH HOMIES

imdeafnotstraight: CHILLIN WITH MEH HOMIES

richbitch: i c o n i c

poptartking: i'm ded

birdman: dude do we have school today

buckethead: i'm internally and externally face planting rn

birdman: i was just testing u

buckethead: hm

birdman: ...

birdman: but do we ???

starspangles: yes we do

scarletbitch: what should i wear today

scarletbitch: feeling kinda gothic today

scarletbitch: hela or loki lemme raid ur wardrobe

burninhela: no

scarletbitch: :(

scarletbitch: ples

burninhela: fine

ihateyou: your fat ass killed my spider so no

scarletbitch: glad you think my ass is big xx

ihateyou: kill yourself

scarletbitch: u figured out my plans for tonite

ihateyou: NO

ihateyou: you're staying at mine for longer now ok ok ????

scarletbitch: yes now lemme borrow some clothes

ihateyou: you don't have to ask

nutella: what is this friendship

scarletbitch: depressed emo twats luv

ihateyou: it's mentow illness init xo

richbitch: dude my cousin and his friends would fit rlly well in this gc

starspangles: add them then

_richbitch_ has added _petthepork, fixitfuckers, spademilson, iwillwalk500miles_ and _shivermetimbers_ to the chat

petthepork: hello :)

scarletbitch: hi !!

buckethead: names pls xxx

petthepork: peter parker :*

fixitfuckers: shuri

silverstreak: t'challas sister???

fixitfuckers: yeh how unfortunate

spademilson: wade wilson

iwillwalk500miles: miles morales

shivermetimbers: mj

scarletbitch: no last name ???

shivermetimbers: no life ???

silverstreak: LMAOSKWKS

scarletbitch: nop

scarletbitch: n e wayz

scarletbitch: [ootd.png] (it's a black tennis skirt with fishnets w holes in and combats. a dark dark grey t-shirt with 'fuck you' on it and a black king sleeved top underneath it. and loads of jewellery:*)

nutella: fuk me

scarletbitch: ok

silverstreak: is any of that even yours ???

scarletbitch: yes my thong is

scarletbitch: but the bra is hela's bc i don't wanna wear anything that was anywhere near fluffy rip

starspangles: u look h o t

scarletbitch: are u str**ght or sum??

starspangles: gross

petthepork: imagine being straight in 2019 wtf

spademilson: ikr g r o s s

buckethead: quill and his posse can relate

birdman: don’t ever say posse again pls or i might kill you

buckethead: p o s s e

birdman: ok SEE YA IN A MINUTE

buckethead: nO

iwillwalk500miles: 911 i have witnessed a murder

scarletbitch: suddenly i’m b l i n d

buckethead: kys xxx

scarletbitch: i think we’ve all established that i will

nutella: no don’t kys your so sexy ahahhahhahahah

scarletbitch: stop looking up my skirt

burninhela: my skirt***

scarletbitch: shut up whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am also absolutely petrified of spiders so yeh
> 
> idk what this is
> 
> ily all and remember to stay safe, drink water and take care of yourself and others!! <3


	6. the witch is coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where wanda is an idiot throughout the whole thing, wandanat are gay and the whole group is stupid 
> 
> -
> 
> scarletbitch: that’s love bitch
> 
> petthepork: aw cute
> 
> richbitch: ...
> 
> scarletbitch: um
> 
> scarletbitch: what chat is this
> 
> trymebeyonce: you fukin dumbass skxksk omg
> 
> birdman: don’t worry it’s only the group chat with everybody in it including natasha but it’s good
> 
> nutella: sup
> 
> scarletbitch: FUCKS XJSKXJSNX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of suicide, but that’s probably gonna be in every one
> 
> wow an update finally lmao
> 
> enjoy:)

**50 shades of gay**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

petthepork - peter parker

spademilson - wade wilson

shivermetimbers - michelle jones

iwillwalk500miles - miles morales

fixitfuckers - shuri

10:12 am

birdman: dudes get to the hall and register we've got an exam in 13 minutes and me and nat are being shouted at because you're all late so hurry tf up

scarletbitch: ok ok hold ur horses

nutella: pls just hurry mr thanos doesn't like any of us at all

petthepork: haaaa you've all got exams lame

richbitch: not all of us

richbitch: but hay stfu you will have them next year trick ass hoe

burninhela: who else doesn't have an exam?

starspangles: me thor tony obviously all the sophomores, bruce and scott

burninhela: haaa peak for those of you that have it

ihateyou: god i hate you

burninhela: what exam have you all got peasants

scarletbitch: me and tasha have dance theory

ihateyou: me bucky pietro clit stephen and sam have religious studies

poptartking: and have any of you revised

nutella: me and wanda have but i can't say much about the boys

birdman: GUYS HURRY UP

10:46 am

burninhela: ugh how long left until they're finished ??? science is dead without my group

starspangles: religious studies exam ends around 12-12:30and idk about dance

scarletbitch: dance ends at 11:55

burninhela: wanda??? why are u on ur phone omfg

scarletbitch: i snuck it in with me, so did all of the rest of our gc who's got an exam

scarletbitch: apart from bruce

nutella: wanda get off ur phone

scarletbitch: uno reverse card bitch

imdeafnotstraight: what's the answer to question 2 on the islam paper ???

trymebeyonce: tawhid is the oneness of allah

imdeafnotstraight: ty

imdeafnotstraight: what about 6

ihateyou: oh that's easy, just think back to the lesson we did about holy books

imdeafnotstraight: OHHH ok thanks

starspangles: you guys are gonna get caught, the invigilators are mean

poptartking: yeh guys they will literally rip up your paper

silverstreak: diddums

scarletbitch: that's it

scarletbitch: i'm taking one for the team

ihateyou: oh no

ihavealangd: wdym

scarletbitch: if i kill myself rn, you all pass automatically:)

nutella: wanda no

trymebeyonce: all in favour of wanda dying so we pass say i

imdeafnotstraight: i

ihateyou: i

richbitch: i

birdman: i

silverstreak: not i

nutella: not i

scarletbitch: sorry kids it's 6 against 2

nutella: fml

silverstreak: SHE JUST FFUED TO SHDOVE A PENDIL UP HER SNODE SNEKSIIWN

burninhela: WHST

trymebeyonce: I DIDNT THINK SHE WAS SERIUS

silverstreak: fukin hell she's been escorted out the hall because she cried cause it didn't work and it only gave her w nose bleed

imdeafnotstraight: yes but it was that creepy looking guy invigilator that escorted her

nutella: creepy guy??

imdeafnotstraight: yeah the one with the weird glasses and bald spot

nutella: he's cleaning up the blood you blind fuck

imdeafnotstraight: who took her out then?

silverstreak: smh clint ms hill took her out stupid

imdeafnotstraight: oh

petthepork: is this normal

richbitch: yeah this is our average friday morning

shivermetimbers: yikes

10:58

scarletbitch: so now because apparently i'm 'unstable' wtf, i'm in classrooms for the rest of my exams

richbitch: you only now realise that ???

scarletbitch: shhhh

**applejacks anus**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

buckethead - bucky barnes

birdman - sam wilson

03:35 pm

buckethead: who wants to come to the mall with me

nutella: me

imdeafnotstraight: yus

birdman: whatever

buckethead: okay, shall we invite wanda?

nutella: ... why?

buckethead: we need a friend that looks creepy to scare off other creepy people

imdeafnotstraight: smh

birdman: we have you for that barnes

buckethead: shut up samuel

birdman: no j a m e s

nutella: who's texting wanda then

buckethead: you

nutella: nownsnakizkwnz

imdeafnotstraight: she's gay for wanda we all know this by now

birdman: ugh fgs bucky you do it

buckethead: fine pussies

**hahaha what's stability ???**

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

buckethead - bucky barnes

03:39 pm

buckethead: oi

scarletbitch: what

buckethead: come to the mall

scarletbitch: who's there?

buckethead: me sam clint and natasha

scarletbitch: was gonna say no until you mentioned tasha

buckethead: hahaha ok

scarletbitch: ...why do you want me to come though ?

buckethead: i quote myself, we need a creepy friend who can scare off fellow creepy people

scarletbitch: fuk u

buckethead: so is that a yes

scarletbitch: only cause tasha's comin, not cause ur ugly ass asked

buckethead: ly xxx

scarletbitch: ly too xxx

**applejacks anus**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

buckethead - bucky barnes

birdman - sam wilson

03:43 pm

buckethead: the witch is coming

imdeafnotstraight: yay sabrina never disappoints me xoxo

nutella: she's not a witch

birdman: 3

birdman: 2

imdeafnotstraight: why are we counting

birdman: 1

nutella: WHAT THE FUCK AM I GONNA WEAR

birdman: oop there it is

nutella: jk i know what i'm gonna wear, i just did it for your pleasure

buckethead: she said she's only coming because, and i quote, 'only cause tasha's comin, not cause ur ugly ass asked'

buckethead: catch me passing my english exam with all these quotes

buckethead: DOTH MOTHER KNOW YOU WEARAS HER DRAPES

birdman: classic tony line

buckethead: d u h

nutella: hi my name is natalia alianovna romanov and wanda is the light of my life

imdeafnotstraight: hi natalia!

nutella: i will castrate you with a pencil

imdeafnotstraight: wow

**50 shades of gay**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

petthepork - peter parker

spademilson - wade wilson

shivermetimbers - michelle jones

iwillwalk500miles - miles morales

fixitfuckers - shuri

05:52 pm

scarletbitch: MSKZKSMS natasha is so cute wtf

scarletbitch: this girl lit rally brought me a necklace

scarletbitch: that’s love bitch

petthepork: aw cute

richbitch: ...

scarletbitch: um

scarletbitch: what chat is this

trymebeyonce: you fukin dumbass skxksk omg

birdman: don’t worry it’s only the group chat with everybody in it including natasha but it’s good

nutella: sup

scarletbitch: FUCKS XJSKXJSNX

silverstreak: KAKZKSMS BAHAHAHA WANDA

imdeafnotstraight: omfg sabrina ur such a dumbass

scarletbitch: she can fuk me sideways that was so embarrassing

nutella: sure;)

scarletbitch: FUCK THW SDONG GROUOVVJAT GAIN LSMSNAJ

trymebeyonce: KAMZKAO WANDA JUST SHUT UP

6:37 pm

imdeafnotstraight: fuk sake

imdeafnotstraight: i can report, wanda and nat are making out

petthepork: OMGS NA YAY

silverstreak: gross

scarletbitch: wow thanks for exposing us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bahaha that only took weeeeks to write
> 
> i started writing this when i was in exam week... bearing in mind exam week was 7th december sooo yeah
> 
> i hope everybody had a good christmas if you celebrate it! feel free to tell me about it or your week/day in the comments :)
> 
> ily all so much <3


	7. no im chris t i an (bonus chapter ig)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wssyt hiw do i cooy and paste ??? (wait how do i copy and paste ???)
> 
> OH I REMMEBER (oh i remember)
> 
> -
> 
> redpepper: anthony
> 
> richbitch: virginia
> 
> passmethepegs: anthony
> 
> richbitch: margret
> 
> birdman: SAMUEL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whxy co i wditw here ??? (what do i edit?? write?? here ???)
> 
> HESPOY NEW YEAR!!! (HAPPY NEW YEAR)
> 
> enjoy (oh wow a right word)
> 
> \- 
> 
> oh no i was extremely drunk when writing the last bit of this chapter and trying to publish it but i think i passed out while tryna do it  
> and i’ll try translate any of the notes i wrote but i read the chapter over and i thought it was hilarious,,,i dont even remember writing it where i was drunk  
> lmao
> 
> we’ll call this a bonus chapter

**50 shades of gay**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

petthepork - peter parker

spademilson - wade wilson

shivermetimbers - michelle jones

iwillwalk500miles - miles morales

fixitfuckers - shuri

10:20 am

silverstreak: wanda is screaming into her pillow rn

shivermetimbers: natasha what did you do

nutella: i- why do you assume i did something

silverstreak: she's screaming the words 'SHES SO PRETTY' over and over again

shivermetimbers: i rest my case

nutella: i lit rally posted a picture on my story of me with no makeup on-

silverstreak: yeh and now thanks to you i've gone death and me and clint have been woken up

imdeafnotstraight: i'm gonna murder you tasha

nutella: u g h

richbitch: scarletbitch ?? nooo all i see is gaypanic

_richbitch_ has changed _scarletbitch_ name to _gaypanic_

gaypanic: fuck off toe knee

_gaypanic_ has changed name to _scarletbitch_

nutella: lmao

scarletbitch: hello pretty

nutella: hello most beautiful woman alive

scarletbitch: skxkskdnsm

silverstreak: FUCK SAKE NATASHA NOW SHE'S SCREAMING AGAIN

trymebeyonce: i want a bf

richbitch: i volunteer

trymebeyonce: no<3

richbitch: :(

trymebeyonce: jk ofc you can be my bf

brucellsprout: AMZKKSKZMSMSN

richbitch: HAH suck on that you single bitches

scarletbitch: i'm not single

brucellsprout: neither

poptartking: not me

nutella: nope

imdeafnotstraight: haha imagine being single

silverstreak: ikr

burninhela: ok we get it you all are taken.. WAIT

scarletbitch: gotta blast

nutella: same

ihateyou: stop. right. there.

scarletbitch: we're texting

trymebeyonce: why do yall always put the attention on them,,,IM TAKEN NOW

richbitch: yes xoxo

silverstreak: shut up a sec

fixitfuckers: guys just be straightforward, is wanda and nat fucking?

scarletbitch: yes

nutella: no

scarletbitch: h e y

nutella: we have not fucked yet

scarletbitch: we have

nutella: no i'm christian

scarletbitch: nataliaaaa shhh

imdeafnotstraight: unfair 

imdeafnotstraight: how does she get to call you natalia

spademilson: WANDANAT FANCLUB RISE

silverstreak: no

scarletbitch: hoe

silverstreak: eat a dick??

scarletbitch: no??

iwillwalk500miles: just farted

starspangles: yum

burninhela: did you peasants hear about that virus disease thing in china called the coronavirus ???

richbitch: yeh but i bet it won't be a big deal, it's just like the flu apparently

spademilson: i bet it will be

brucellsprout: DONT JINX IT

spademilson: i bet the whole world will have to quarantine

birdman: WADE SHUT UP

spademilson: hahaha i'm only kidding

starspangles: you better be

spademilson: shut up captain america xxx

starspangles: wat

spademilson: i said what i said

02:28 pm

imdeafnotstraight: look dudes

imdeafnotstraight: i'm not gay at all

imdeafnotstraight: but fucking hell, pietro can fuck me raw and senselessly

silverstreak: sure

scarletbitch: DID NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT ABOUTF MY TWIN BROTHER WTF

ihateyou: you're username though clit-

brucellsprout: and the fact they are literally dating

nutella: wanda stop being a prude

scarletbitch: but it's g r o s s

nutella: you weren't complaining when i had you shoved up against a wall

scarletbitch: KAMZKAMZ

silverstreak: okay now THAT is gross

richbitch: wrong app guys

trymebeyonce: oh please tony, you also wasn't complaining just now

petthepork: guys i'm just a baby

spademilson: sure ;)

petthepork: WADE SH

richbitch: yall are wild i'm adding two bitches to sort us out

_richbitch_ has added _passmethepegs_ and _redpepper_ to the chat

redpepper: anthony

richbitch: virginia

passmethepegs: anthony

richbitch: margret

birdman: SAMUEL

richbitch: can you pls sort these horny twats out

passmethepegs: what's wrong with being horny

redpepper: yeah

richbitch: NOTHING but not in the group chat

passmethepegs: pepper always tells our group chat when she's horny

redpepper: peggy stfu

passmethepegs: no

scarletbitch: hello new additions to the crackhead group

redpepper: um i'm not gay what's this gc name

passmethepegs: oop-

nutella: we all hate it

richbitch: I DON'T AND NEITHER DOES MY BOYFRIEND

richbitch: he he i have a boyfriend

trymebeyonce: tones... i don't like it:(

richbitch: stephen just broke up with me waaaaa

trymebeyonce: i didn't-

_redpepper_ has changed the name to **marvel just can't handle us**

richbitch: UGH

scarletbitch: i love this one

richbitch: shut up wicked witch of the west

scarletbitch: i-

03:25 am (drunk part oops)

fixitfuckers: heldlzoooooooo

scarletbitch: what ddus thefuck do you wdnt

fixitfuckers: nejzk tchalsla gave mr sinks

richbitch: are you okdh i cant dee a wors of that

redpepper: pls dont tell me you are all d r unks

birdman: nerver

imdeafnotstraight: my boyfriend is so pfftyy

scarletbitch: so id my girlfrined

silverstreak: you dont hwve a gielfriend

scarletbitch: do too

scarletbitch: its natashaswswksk

nutella: but ...:.....:&. im not

scarletbitch: ARE

scarletbitch: i askedf you

nutella: nuo

scarletbitch: y e s

scarletbitch: will you bes my gorlfriend

nutella: no

scarletbitch: og

nutella: kidding yed i will be

scarletbitch: YSSYYSYSYYYYYYAYAYAYYAYAY

ihavealangd: g ay

ihateyou: gross who tf is g a y wtffffff bever

burninhela:: you wre

ihateyou: wnkxkwd no gross i dont havea. crysh onnscott

burninhela: ....

burninhela: i didnt sssu that

ihateyou: you sos!!!

ihateyou: did toooooouuuwow

ihavealangd: GASP LOKI HADD A CRUSH IN ME

ihavealangd: IN ME

ihavealangd: ON ME

richbitch: oh dear

pethepork: i lovw pork

richbitch: TONIGHT THE EMUSCI SEEMS DOD LOUD

scarletbitch: alexa plsy careslredd whisper

spademilson: n o

scarletbitch: guys isnsn i hdye myefl

imdeafnotstraight: i hate jerddmt rednner

spademilson: whos jefedmt renner

imdeafnotstraight: idkc hut the sudthor said she hated him

spademilson: onh oksy

poptartking: i wsnt poptartx

scarletbitch: i wddnt desth

scarletbitch: and jolly rednchers

brucellsprout: oh dresr i gwsl sick

brucellsprout: very sick

scarletbitch:: ONG I WROGW A SENTENVE WILL NO MISTSAKED

silverstreak: no bruce did

scarletbitch: WND SZHIN

scarletbitch: AGAISN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so j was sover for the first bit andx then a but ynder the influwnve for the sevind bit oh my (oh so i was sober for the first bit and then a bit under the influence for the second bit oh my)
> 
> im sxtill shit faced now (i’m still shitfaced now)
> 
> i hope yoy had s goos new ywar day thing (i hope you had a good new year day thing /omfg wtf am i on/)
> 
> love you!!!???


	8. pinky promise?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richbitch: u guys good lmao ??????
> 
> brucellsprout: oh yes this is a normal day in this household
> 
> brucellsprout: nothing a good blackmail and family counsel session cant solve
> 
> -
> 
> the chapter where it’s fun at the start but gets kinda deep in the middle :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bahah idk what this is but i just kept writing
> 
> no tw today though:)
> 
> enjoy <3

**peasants i live with**

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

poptartking - thor odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

7:23 am

burninhela: loki where the fuck did you put my hair straightners

ihateyou: you know they wont make you straight right ?????????

burninhela: loki i stg

ihateyou: i didnt use them bitchface

burninhela: oh thats right they would of frazzled from how much grease is in your hair

burninhela: you could cook fries on that

ihateyou: my username.

burninhela: my username but make it hell twat

poptartking: hela i used ur straightners but i put them back in your room

ihateyou: oh ye i took them after that

burninhela: LOKI TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE OR ELSE

ihateyou: they're in my snake tank ;)

burninhela: ok

ihateyou: OHMYGOD SHE SMASHED THE TANK

ihateyou: SNEK AND DONKEY ARE LOOSE

brucellsprout: take them to school with u

ihateyou: is this bruce banner ???? giving me a bad idea ??????? omg ily

burninhela: LOKI YOUR FUCKING SNAKE BROKE THEM

ihateyou: oops

burninhela: I WILL GRIND YOUR HANDS AND TEETH IN A BLENDER WITH SNEK AND DONKEY AND MAKE YOU DRINK IT

brucellsprout: oh god i dont wanna have the police called over again please dont

burninhela: LOKI GO AND FUCKING DIE

ihateyou: not if you dont die first

burninhela: UGH

**marvel just cant handle us**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

petthepork - peter parker

spademilson - wade wilson

shivermetimbers - michelle jones

iwillwalk500miles - miles morales

fixitfuckers - shuri

passmethepegs - peggy carter

redpepper - pepper potts

7:45 am

starspangles: i hear screaming from the odinson house is everything good??

poptartking: loki put hela's hair straightners in his snake tank and one of them broke it so now shes threatening to grind their hands and teeth with snek and donkey in a blender and force them to drink it and now shes screaming around the house cause shes mad

ihateyou: kinda funny ngl

richbitch: u guys good lmao ??????

brucellsprout: oh yes this is a normal day in this household

brucellsprout: nothing a good blackmail and family counsel session cant solve

silverstreak: once wanda threatened to shave my hair and my pubes off in my sleep and mix it in with my breakfast without me knowing because i ate her jolly ranchers

trymebeyonce: dont mess with her jolly ranchers

silverstreak: yES i know that now

silverstreak: ive been scared to eat the food she cooks since that day

silverstreak: but her cooking is so so good so i miss it

burninhela: anyone pisses me off today then im spilling gasoline over the nearest thing and lighting that bitch up

imdeafnotstraight: remind me to piss her off cause that would be funny as fuck

burninhela: dont test me

imdeafnotstraight: or what

burninhela: or you will be the thing i light up

richbitch: violent

richbitch: ...

richbitch: i love it

12:28 pm

scarletbitch: ok screw being sad atm

scarletbitch: hela what the f u c k

nutella: tell me she didn't

scarletbitch: she fucking spilt gasoline ??? ON THE BOOK BOX RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND LIT ON FIRE

burninhela: it was a science experiment to see if wanda would also catch on fire

ihateyou: what did wanda do to make you go through with your threat

burninhela: she asked if she could use my fucking straightners tonight

scarletbitch: I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW THAT THEY WERE BROKEN

burninhela: READ THE GROUPCHAT NEXT THEN YOU IDIOT

scarletbitch: i was s a d

burninhela: oh boo hoo you're always fucking sad

scarletbitch: fuck off

burninhela: no you

scarletbitch: i stg

04:29 pm

imdeafnotstraight: natasha were out of milk

birdman: go and get some ???

imdeafnotstraight: ok

imdeafnotstraight: natasha i'm going to get some milk i'll be back soon

nutella: said my father when i was 8

richbitch: MWKZKSKZMAN

buckethead: omfg

iwillwalk500miles: wait rlly ??

nutella: nah

nutella: i was 10

iwillwalk500miles: LSMZKSO

scarletbitch: wish my father would of

silverstreak: why sestra

scarletbitch: no reason<3

trymebeyonce: tonesssss

richbitch: yessss

trymebeyonce: come and love me please

richbitch: i cant rn howard is home

trymebeyonce: oh okay

trymebeyonce: love me when he's gone?

richbitch: yes <3

buckethead: go and take your lovey dovey shit somewhere else

ihavealangd: yeh i'm lonely so stfu

ihateyou: scotty i'm your friend

ihavealangd: ahahah yeah friend ty for that

ihateyou: ???

ihavealangd: sorry i meant to send that to someone else

**fake boyfriends**

richbitch - tony stark

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

05:57 pm

richbitch: ahhaha i can't believe they've all fallen for us dating

trymebeyonce: ikr

richbitch: pfft like as if i'd date youuuu, you're just my bestfriend

trymebeyonce: yeah

richbitch: fake dating is the best

richbitch: they're all so gullible

trymebeyonce: yep

richbitch: you alright?

trymebeyonce: yeah i'm just kinda busy rn

richbitch: sorry

richbitch: right well, keep doing well at fake dating me and don't catch feelings ;)

richbitch: haha jk i know you won't

trymebeyonce: bye

**maximoff and strange adventures**

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

06:03 pm

trymebeyonce: wanda

trymebeyonce: i need help and you're the only one who i can tell because i trust you the most

scarletbitch: that's just cause i'm amazing

trymebeyonce: wanda i mean it, i know i'm a dick to you but you gotta know i'm only joking and i actually think of you as my closest friend and i love you

scarletbitch: i love you too

scarletbitch: what's going on?

trymebeyonce: me and tony

scarletbitch: did you two break up?

trymebeyonce: that's the thing, we weren't even dating

scarletbitch: huh

trymebeyonce: wanda you cannot tell anybody, not even natasha and pietro

scarletbitch: i won't i promise, i swear on my nana marya's grave

trymebeyonce: his idea was to 'fake date' to prank you all and i agreed cause i was sure my feelings wouldn't get in the way

trymebeyonce: but he said he would never date me cause i'm just a best friend

scarletbitch: :(

trymebeyonce: and my feelings are becoming way too much and now it really hurts because i'm public and on the group chat we're 'dating' and it's so nice but when it's just us two he just shuts me down

scarletbitch: stephen:( i'm so sorry

scarletbitch: is there anything i can do?

trymebeyonce: can you come and stay the night?

scarletbitch: i was gonna have a movie night with piet but i'll tell him something happened and i gotta go to yours

trymebeyonce: no no if you have plans already please dont prioritise me

scarletbitch: stephen

scarletbitch: he'll understand

scarletbitch: besides my dads home :/

trymebeyonce: you can stay at mine for as long as you need

scarletbitch: don't worry about me, i'm coming over for you

scarletbitch: do you need my to bring anything?

trymebeyonce: chicken nuggets and ice cream

scarletbitch: done and done

scarletbitch: also all my hoodies are in the wash can i borrow one of yours when i come over?

trymebeyonce: of course <3

scarletbitch: lemme just text pietro and i'll be on my way

trymebeyonce: thankyou i love you

scarletbitch: i love you too

**is that a weed ?????**

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

06:24 pm

scarletbitch: hey piet...

scarletbitch: i love you

scarletbitch: but i'm gonna have to rain check on the movie night

silverstreak: why?

scarletbitch: i can't say much other than stephens going through something rn and have asked if i can stay round the night, or maybe longer idk

silverstreak: is he alright?

scarletbitch: not really and he says he needs me so i am really really sorry

silverstreak: hey no it's okay

silverstreak: we can do a movie night any night it's alright i promise

scarletbitch: pinky promise?

silverstreak: pinky promise

scarletbitch: thank you

silverstreak: i love you wands x

scarletbitch: i love you too x

**welcome to bible study**

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

richbitch - tony stark

08:37 pm

richbitch: dude i swear wanda and stephen weren't friends

buckethead: why?

richbitch: cause they're mean to eachother all the time but now wanda is sleeping round his house and they look all cozy

nutella: aww are you jealous

richbitch: no

richbitch: it's just confusing

starspangles: might i remind you that stephen is gay and wanda has a girlfriend

nutella: hehhe

starspangles: and stephen is your boyfriend

richbitch: ah um yeah

brucellsprout: anthony

richbitch: bruce

brucellsprout: message me

richbitch: can't rn howard is calling me

brucellsprout: k

**and they were roommates**

nutella - natasha romanoff

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

11:12 pm

scarletbitch: natasha you're so prettyyy omg fuk me pls

nutella: hi stephen

scarletbitch: uGH

scarletbitch: how'd you know

nutella: cause wanda doesn't call me natasha

scarletbitch: ah yes she calls you daddy instead

nutella: no skxkwkxo

scarletbitch: wanda's reading over my shoulder and said i wish

nutella: sounds like her

scarletbitch: anyway what does she call you

nutella: natalia duh

scarletbitch: i swear you punched clint for calling you that

nutella: yep

nutella: but wandas special

scarletbitch: ahahha aw i want love

nutella: you have tony for that

scarletbitch: yeh

scarletbitch: okay natalia i'm back, stephens crying now so i gotta go

nutella: prove it's you

scarletbitch: [stephencryingnexttome.png]

nutella: is he okay?

scarletbitch: no but that why i'm here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ironstrange my babies :(  
> don’t worry there is hope for them:)
> 
> idk if you can tell but i’m starting to actually focus on more characters and ships that aren’t wanda/wandanat,,,which is a good thing.. i think
> 
> anyways bojo (boris johnson /that autocorrected to johansson as it should/) is announcing ANOTHER lockdown tonight possibly where schools shut u g h 
> 
> AND i have zoom calls with my classes tomorrow and i’m not looking forward to it cause i hate my voice and the way i look
> 
> anyways
> 
> ily <3 stay safe xx
> 
> update on lockdown,,the uk is now on lockdown and my exams have been cancelled u g h


	9. got a problem maximoff?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scarletbitch has left the chat
> 
> \- 
> 
> this chapter is quite jam packed with deep stuff but i need to do this to also let my emotions out so i am sorry for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> triggerwarning: mentioned eating disorder, suicide, attempted suicide and implied abuse
> 
> -
> 
> i am going through a really tough time at the moment but i’m trying my best to put happy chapters in and update because i love making you guys happy, i will try :) i don’t wanna give up on you guys  
> just please don’t be mad at me if i suddenly disappear for a while, though i will try and avoid doing so
> 
> i am terribly sorry for this but it’s the only way i can let out what i’m feeling by using wanda’s emotions and i know that’s not okay but it’s the only way that i open up
> 
> [disclaimer: i can assure you, i am safe though. i promise and nothing bad like that is happening i pinky promise you guys]

**marvel just cant handle us**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

petthepork - peter parker

spademilson - wade wilson

shivermetimbers - michelle jones

iwillwalk500miles - miles morales

fixitfuckers - shuri

passmethepegs - peggy carter

redpepper - pepper potts

10:07 am

spademilson: wow italy has gone into lockdown because of corona

starspangles: wtf

spademilson: told yall it would get bad

richbitch: it probably won't happen here

petthepork: probably not but ms hill is already starting to get online lessons ready

scarletbitch: love her

trymebeyonce: same

scarletbitch: hey

trymebeyonce: hi

scarletbitch: you alright?

trymebeyonce: yeah i am now, are you?

birdman: sup stephen, why wasn't you okay?

trymebeyonce: it's nothing

scarletbitch: i'm fine

trymebeyonce: k good :)

brucellsprout: thorrrrrr

poptartking: bruceeee

brucellsprout: can we go out to dinner tonight? <3

poptartking: of course brucie<3

buckethead: cute

nutella: wow

richbitch: i love love

richbitch: and i love my boyfriend

scarletbitch: hm

richbitch: what?

scarletbitch: it's just something you said

richbitch: got a problem maximoff?

scarletbitch: with what exactly because i have multiple

richbitch: yes we all know you're depressed and mentally fucked up what else is new

trymebeyonce: tony pls don't

richbitch: no i've had enough of her taking the attention away from everybody else because aww look at her she's got issues

richbitch: guess what maximoff, everybody's got issues you aren't the only one

scarletbitch: i never said i was

starspangles: tony stop

richbitch: no

imdeafnotstraight: tony.

richbitch: don't tony me, somebody needs to put her in my place

scarletbitch: what and that's gonna be you?

richbitch: well no one else will cause they're too scared to hurt your feelings

richbitch: well news flash, i'm not

richbitch: i couldn't give a shit

richbitch: someone needs to beat a bit of sense into you, maybe hela can cause i'm not gonna hit a girl

redpepper: tony!

richbitch: shut up

scarletbitch: yes let's make everybody beat me up

richbitch: no, again you're victimising yourself! i said hela should do it

burninhela: don't bring me into this

scarletbitch: tony i know what's going on with you and yk who so don't you dare

richbitch: i know you know and if you decide to tell everybody, i will come by your house and instead, i will personally hit you

scarletbitch: do it anyway i dare you

richbitch: bet

ihateyou: where's pietro ???

imdeafnotstraight: he's on a trip to see his mum after how many years and he has no signal

ihateyou: great

scarletbitch: yeah he didn't even ask if i wanted to go

imdeafnotstraight: :(

richbitch: oh shut the fuck up wanda you cry baby

scarletbitch: tony i swear

richbitch: you swear you'll what? you won't do anything

scarletbitch: just stop

richbitch: fine pussy

_scarletbitch_ has left the chat

nutella: fgs tony you are such a dickhead

richbitch: i didn't do anything!

trymebeyonce: yes you did-

richbitch: stephen i at least thought you would stick by me

trymebeyonce: after you just hurt my best friend? no

trymebeyonce: guys me and tony aren't even dating, it was fake and it was tony's idea

richbitch: stephen-

trymebeyonce: he then said to me that he wouldn't actually date me and i shouldn't catch feelings

trymebeyonce: well i did

trymebeyonce: and now i dislike myself for catching feelings because you are horrible

richbitch: i didn't know

trymebeyonce: but now you do

richbitch: yes but still wanda didn't have to say anything, she started that whole thing

trymebeyonce: she's having trouble at home!

richbitch: everybody had trouble at home, fgs my dad is a shit dad who constantly put me down

trymebeyonce: her dad is a dick tony

trymebeyonce: like a real big dick

nutella: how?

trymebeyonce: i cant say i'm sorry

nutella: then why bring it up

trymebeyonce: tryna get tony to stop

richbitch: everybody's dad is a dick stephen

trymebeyonce: you know what i'm not even going to bother trying to get through to you, it's like i'm talking to a brick wall

**maximoff and strange adventures**

scarletbitch - wanda maximoff

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

12:03 pm

trymebeyonce: hey bby you okay?

scarletbitch: yeh

trymebeyonce: we've all had our fair share row at him

trymebeyonce: it was out of order

scarletbitch: i shouldn't of said anything i'm sorry

scarletbitch: and you didn't have to, i understood where he was coming from

scarletbitch: i'm not mad at him

trymebeyonce: but he said all that stuff

scarletbitch: yeah and if everyone was mad at me for all the stuff i've said out of stress and anger, everybody would hate me and i wouldn't have anyone left

trymebeyonce: you're okay though?

scarletbitch: yh

trymebeyonce: do you wanna be added back?

scarletbitch: not yet i'm sorry

scarletbitch: just calming down and then i'll be back

trymebeyonce: i love you

scarletbitch: ly too

**could actually kill u gang**

nutella - natasha romanoff

buckethead - bucky barnes

passmethepegs - peggy carter

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

ineedvodka - valkyrie

carolgayvers - carol danvers

imdeafnotstraight - clint barton

12:25 pm

nutella: i am /this/ close to beating the shit out of tony so he can't walk for months

buckethead: he's being a dick

ineedvodka: why do we want to beat up tony

carolgayvers: yeh cmon fill us in

nutella: he’s being really mean to wanda

carolgayvers: aw but wanda is so sweet

ihateyou: is she-

ihateyou: kidding, yeah she is

ineedvodka: can we actually beat him up

buckethead: of course not he’s our friend

ineedvodka: no fun

passmethepegs: stephen says that wanda says that she’s okay

nutella: and we believe her?

ihateyou: no

burninhela: yeah but we can’t push her

ihateyou: somethings going on though, she’s not been herself lately

imdeafnotstraight: she’s still been her usual crackhead self when texting the gc tho

ihateyou: yes but not in person

ihateyou: it’s like she’s not really there

ihateyou: and have you noticed she hasn’t acted up in school in a while?

imdeafnotstraight: i blame nat

nutella: i- just because i don’t get in trouble doesn’t mean it’s gonna run off on wanda

ineedvodka: i did see her crying to stephen in the music rooms yesterday

passmethepegs: he seems to be the only person who knows what’s going on

ihateyou: i know

burninhela: so do i

burninhela: but that’s because of last time

nutella: care to fill us in

ihateyou: we can’t

nutella: loki this is my girlfriend we’re talking about

ihateyou: she’s not ready

ihateyou: but we do need to keep an eye on her

carolgayvers: yeh

burninhela: if she starts being like last time then we need to step in

nutella: can you at least tell me what happened last time

burninhela: she stopped eating, drinking, showing up with baggier clothes, didn’t show up for a whole 3 weeks and wouldn’t text any of us, turns out she was being hospitalised for an attempted od

nutella: fuck

burninhela: and she screamed at every single one of us everytime we asked us if she was okay

carolgayvers: :(

buckethead: we’ll keep an eye on her and step in if anything happens

ihateyou: on one condition

buckethead: yes

ihateyou: no one in the main group chat can know, that includes pietro clint

imdeafnotstraight: but he’s her brother ???!

imdeafnotstraight: and my boyfriend? i tell him everything

ihateyou: it’s crucial you don’t tell him this until it gets critical and really really bad

imdeafnotstraight: why

nutella: he’ll overreact??

burninhela: exactly

nutella: and it will drive her off the edge ??

burninhela: yeah

passmethepegs: that’s not a wise idea guys

passmethepegs: he wil hate you forever if you don’t tell him and there is no overreacting in this situation

ineedvodka: peggy has a point

ineedvodka: what if something happens and we had the power to get pietro to stop it and we didn’t

ihateyou: look it’s just for now oksy?

nutella: yh

imdeafnotstraight: i guess i can do that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will continue on into other chapters
> 
> remember, talk to someone please.
> 
> if you feel like crap, don’t take it out on yourself :( please.. do that for me? i know it won’t mean a lot but i do love every single one of you and i couldn’t bare it if anything happened to you.
> 
> i know if you are in england it will be really tough as well as we are back into lockdown but please please please remember you are loved, you are important, you are beautiful and you are cherished <3
> 
> i love you and again, i apologise for this :(


	10. carolgayvers is typing...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> poptartking: hey so i've got a couple friends who would love to be in the chat, can i add them?
> 
> richbitch: yes the more the merrier!
> 
> poptartking has added whatstheweatherlike, ineedvodka and carolgayvers 
> 
> nutella: OMG VAL AND CAROL HI
> 
> richbitch: did nat just say omg...
> 
> nutella: very much i did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teheh i’m so sorry for not updating and i skipped through the angst but to be fair i was mid breakdown when writing the last chapter and haven’t had another bad one like that since 
> 
> plus, i’m writing this for entertainment and enjoyment, not for sad and angst (well there will be parts where it’s like that but not yet) so i’m sorry :)
> 
> anyways i hope you enjoy! and idk if you guessed but we have a few new characters heheh

**marvel just cant handle us**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

petthepork - peter parker

spademilson - wade wilson

shivermetimbers - michelle jones

iwillwalk500miles - miles morales

fixitfuckers - shuri

passmethepegs - peggy carter

redpepper - pepper potts

12:14 pm

birdman: hELP

buckethead: with ???

birdman: PIETRO AND TONY EGDJKJ PLEASE

redpepper: ffs

starspangles: so i'm guessing pietro is angry

birdman: YOU GUESS?? FUCKING PIETRO STORMED UP TO TONY AND SOCKED HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE AND THEY WONT STOP FIGHTING

imdeafnotstraight: me and nat are on our way

birdman: no dont bring nat

nutella: why not wilson

birdman: classified

nutella: sam.

birdman: wanda tried pulling pietro off and tony ummm

nutella: tony what

birdman: got angry at her again and grabbed her arm

trymebeyonce: ...which one

birdman: um both? she looked like she was about to scream but he didint stop and then he kinda knocked her into a wall, she screamed in pain and he kinda just froze and realised what he done

birdman: and now pietro just grabbed tony and punched him again anddd they're in a full blown fight

ihateyou: me and hela are on our way as well

nutella: im gonna kill him

brucellsprout: ok i know tony is completely in the wrong in this situation but like.. he's going through somehing atm

nutella: that doesn't give him the right to treat wanda like that and start a fight with both of them

brucellsprout: actually pietro started the fight

nutella: bruce

brucellsprout: natasha

nutella: bruce banner

brucellsprout: ok shutting up now

[ONE MONTH LATER - i'm sorry i'm in a good weird mood and didn't wanna write angst anymore - nothing much has happened other than everyones starting to make up]

**marvel just cant handle us**

richbitch - tony stark

starspangles - steve rogers

buckethead - bucky barnes

nutella - natasha romanoff

imdeathnotstraight - clint barton

poptartking - thor odinson

ihateyou - loki odinson

burninhela - hela odinson

brucellsprout - bruce banner

trymebeyonce - stephen strange

silverstreak - pietro maximoff

ihavealangd - scott lang

birdman - sam wilson

petthepork - peter parker

spademilson - wade wilson

shivermetimbers - michelle jones

iwillwalk500miles - miles morales

fixitfuckers - shuri

passmethepegs - peggy carter

redpepper - pepper potts

11:34 am

nutella: can wanda be added back nowww she misses everyone and now that everybody is getting along again it should be fine right?

richbitch: yeah go on then, me and the witch are friends again

_nutella_ has added _scarletbitch_

scarletbitch: hello whores

trymebeyonce: ewww get out

petthepork: hello wanda <3

scarletbitch: hi petey <3

poptartking: hey so i've got a couple friends who would love to be in the chat, can i add them?

richbitch: yes the more the merrier!

_poptartking_ has added _whatstheweatherlike_ , _ineedvodka_ and _carolgayvers_

nutella: OMG VAL AND CAROL HI

richbitch: did nat just say omg...

nutella: very much i did

carolgayvers: sup i'm carol and this is val we are totally not dating and i'm totally a hetty

petthepork: carolgayvers is typing...

ineedvodka: hi i'm valkyrie but call me val :)

scarletbitch: hellooooo

carolgayvers: can't wait to brag to my friends that me and val are in a group chat with wanda

scarletbitch: lmskzks what

redpepper: your friends are right here

passmethepegs: hello

ineedvodka: oh hiii

scarletbitch: omg guys we got a new neighbour today to the right of us and she's so so nice and cool

silverstreak: eh shes okay

scarletbitch: you haven't properly talked to her

silverstreak: yeah but she's kinda chatty

scarletbitch: she's awesome and like rlly pretty

nutella: you aren't replacing me now are you

scarletbitch: never

scarletbitch: she's transferring to our school next week

richbitch: omg new meat

spademilson: i hate it when you say that

redpepper: yeah wtf

richbitch: jhee sorry

richbitch: what's her name?

scarletbitch: agnes

richbitch: what's her username so we can add her so she has friends when she comes to marvel high

scarletbitch: i'll just add her

_scarletbitch_ has added _auntieagnes_

auntieagnes: ...

scarletbitch: hey agnes, it's wanda :) we thought that since you're transferring to marvel that you could go in with some friends that you can turn to?

auntieagnes: aw thanks wanda uhh so who is everyone?

scarletbitch: ok so everyone introduce themselves by the order of the chat contents

richbitch: hi i'm tony stark, the creator of this chat and all that jazz

starspangles: hello i'm steve rogers :)

buckethead: bucky barnes :)

auntieagnes: didn't you used to go to hydra ??

buckethead: yeah wait omg is this agnes from hydra ??

auntieagnes: yeah !! i remember you omg

buckethead: i remember you! lmao

nutella: natasha romanoff. -.-

richbitch: natasha be nicer pls

nutella: fine, hi i'm natasha and i'm wanda's girlfriend? is that nicer

richbitch: eh it will do

imdeafnotstraight: hi i'm clit barton, i'm deaf?

imdeafnotstraight: clint**

petthepork: lmaooo clit

imdeafnotstraight: shut up porker

poptartking: thor odinson :)

ihateyou: loki.

burninhela: hela.

richbitch: they're siblings

auntieagnes: cool!

ihateyou: no thor's adopted

poptartking: i- no

brucellsprout: bruce banner

trymebeyonce: stephen strange :*

auntieagnes: ong ur name is so cool

trymebeyonce: i know

silverstreak: obviously you know me and wanda

auntieagnes: butttt i'm stupid and forgot your name so what is it?

silverstreak: pietro

ihavealangd: scott lang :P

birdman: sam wilson

petthepork: hi i'm peter parker!

spademilson: wade wilson.

shivermetimbers: mj

iwillwalk500miles: miles morales

fixitfuckers: shuri

passmethepegs: peggy carter

redpepper: pepper potts

auntieagnes: is your name actually pepper?? not tryna be rude ofc i think it's cute

redpepper: no no it's okay! my name is virginia but i hate it and tony came up with the nickname pepper:)

whatstheweatherlike: i'm darcy!

ineedvodka: valkyrie

auntieagnes: your username is a mood

ineedvodka: i know

carolgayvers: carol danvers

richbitch: is that everyone ??

starspangles: yah

auntieagnes: awe it’s nice to meet you all <3

scarletbitch: anyways my dads not giving me ice cream

silverstreak: i got ice cream

scarletbitch: yes well you are the favourite

buckethead: lmao

petthepork: alexa play daddy issues

scarletbitch: shut up

petthepork: uno reverse card bitch

birdman: somebody come and go on a run with me

scarletbitch: i would if my asthma wasn’t a biiiitch

iwillwalk500miles: you have asmtha ??

scarletbitch: yep

spademilson: do you not have asmtha attacks when you have sex with natasha ??

scarletbitch: wade!

spademilson: whattt does she not make you out of breath

ihateyou: oh dear

scarletbitch: kmn

nutella: what’s wrong darling, do you not like hearing people talk about us having sex

scarletbitch: not particularly no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love agnes omg, this chapter was kinda slow but next chapter will be chaotic and fun like the rest (kinda)!!
> 
> how did everybody find wandavision ?? i loved it and EVIL WANDA ??? yes pls
> 
> anyways stay safe, chat to me in the comments if you’d like AND i have a twitter now so if you ever need to contact me, or talk to somebody about your day just pm me! i would be more than interested and i love listening (well.. reading) about people’s days!
> 
> it’s @scarletbvtch ! 
> 
> anywayyyy, ily all sm and i hope you enjoyed this chapter and i will tryyy to be quicker with the updates <3


	11. not an update :(

hi guys so what i wanna say is tysm for 100 kudos! it means alot

and i was planning on updating soon but my nans dog was put down yesterday and i’m heartbroken as he meant everything to me so i’m so sorry but i have to put that update on hold until i get better

im sorry for not updating in ages as well, online lessons have been busier than usual so i am sorry

i love you all


End file.
